What Do We Do Now?
by Onimiman
Summary: Another Onimi drabble. Basically showing what happens when boredom really sinks in on the part of the characters.
1. Chapter 1

Sitting against the wall of the building that they typically preferred to sit against within the half-destroyed Vongformed depths of Coruscant, Jacen, Onimi, and Nom Anor continued to do nothing but smoke weed and just stare up into the sky aimlessly.

"You guys wonder how we haven't totally killed our brain cells with THC yet?" Jacen asked.

"Another interesting development with my molecule-creating powers," Onimi said. "Not only can I manufacture them now, I can control them even when they're being broken down and consumed by other beings."

"Always something knew with you and your abilities, is there?" Nom Anor asked.

Onimi shrugged. "Well, when I have this much time on my hands, of course I can master that ability."

"So, let me get this straight," Jacen said. "Even as we're smoking this weed, you're managing to control it so we don't OD and kill all our brain cells?"

"Precisely," Onimi said. "So you get all the effect with virtually no damage to your brain or its cells."

"But ain't that taking quite an effort on your part?" Nom Anor asked.

Onimi shrugged. "Yeah, kinda. But it gives me something to do either way."

Nom Anor nodded. "You know, given how you can do all this amazing stuff with your powers, Onimi, and since you also destroyed the One Sith just as the Jedi Order grieved over Luke Skywalker, do you think you can apply for Mastership there?"

Jacen laughed. "Oh, no, no one in the Order's gonna let Onimi become a Master. He's gotta become an apprentice first and train with all the five-year-olds who are just learning to use their powers."

"But why?" Nom Anor asked.

"Dogma of the New Jedi Order in this reality and so many others," Jacen said. "Good thing I left it when I left my home reality."

"Speaking of which, did you ever search out your home reality, Jacen?" Nom Anor asked.

"I did," Jacen said.

"And?" Nom Anor asked.

"It was consumed in a war between the GA, the Chiss Ascendancy, and the Killiks that managed to unleash Abeloth and destroy the galaxy," he said almost casually. "It'll be about a good ten thousand years before life can start anew there."

"Wow," Onimi said. "How'd you know what happened when you returned there? I mean, surely, you must've ended up somewhere where you saw nothing but desolation, but how could you have known the exact causes of it?"

"Well, before I botched up my training with the Aing-Tii that allowed me to travel to different realities in the first place," Jacen said, "one thing I did learn from them was flow-walking. So when I reentered my destroyed home reality, I used flow-walking to travel back in time, without affecting anything of course, to trace the sequence of events that ultimately led the galaxy to its demise."

"Sounds like a sweet ability," Onimi said. "So what happened to Abeloth after she wiped out all life in the galaxy of your home reality, Jacen?"

"Eh, she simply disappeared into the Force as if she died, waiting only to be reborn after life has fully flourished again to the point that would justify her return to repeat her destruction cycle," Jacen said. "I managed to leave my home dimension just before she tried to take me into the Force, though."

"Damn," Nom Anor said. "Sounds like without you in any of those other realities, those other versions of this galaxy wouldn't have been able to have survived."

"And yet no one in those galaxies would like to admit it," Jacen said, "and all because those other versions of me ended up into an evil, maniacal, stupid, incompetent, and weak Sith Lord."

"Seems unfair to me," Onimi replied in a sardonic tone.

Jacen sighed. "But seriously, though, guys, there's gotta be something more we can do. We can't just sit here and chitchat while smoking weed all day."

"Why not?" Nom Anor asked.

"Because it's boring, obviously," Jacen said. "It's fun and relaxing every once in a while, but c'mon, can we be a little bit more productive?"

"What'd you have in mind, Jacen?" Onimi asked.

"Eh, I don't know," Jacen shrugged. "Maybe we can stop by the Jedi Temple or something, just to say hi to everyone, I guess."

"Hey, you can do that, and you can take Nommy with you if he wants..." Onimi started.

"I'm not going anywhere near the Jedi Temple," Nom Anor interjected. "Luke Skywalker and his family resent me too much because of the fact that I poisoned his wife and nearly killed her so many years ago. I don't wanna be anywhere near a place that would have that kinda hostility towards me."

"My point exactly," Onimi said. "There's no way I'm going to the Jedi Temple; I'm still on uneven ground with Ben and Myri Skywalker, especially that bitch."

"I thought you resolved that with her and Ben when you were all with the Aing-Tii?" Jacen asked.

"Yeah, but after I ruined Luke Skywalker's funeral, I doubt any of the Jedi want me there anyway," Onimi said.

"Well, don't you think you should mend that?" Jacen asked.

"They're a buncha stuck-up, self-righteous pricks, they won't welcome me in!" Onimi countered. "That, and the fact that Ben actually tried to kill me only for seeing his wife naked! To think Jedi would exercise more control over their emotions and judgment over something as trivial as that! Seems quite hypocritical to me."

"Yeah, but who was gonna stand up to the son of the Grand Master of the Jedi Order?" Nom Anor asked.

"Good point, but since said Grand Master is dead of old age, there are gonna be people to stand up to him, I imagine," Onimi said.

"Exactly!" Jacen exclaimed. "Which means you can tell him that when we go to the Temple later today!"

"No, I ain't going anywhere, Jacen," Onimi said. "And besides, putting aside that the Jedi Order would hate all of us, Nom Anor for what he did, me for what I did, and you just for being the alternate version of the guy who became Darth Caedus here, the fact of the matter is that Nommy and I are Yuuzhan Vong, and people are gonna mistake you for the resurrected Caedus when you head back up to the upper levels of Coruscant! 'Cause remember, your return ain't exactly public in this reality, and you may even be attacked and arrested. And that's just you, keep in mind, imagine what happens when Nommy and I come along."

"Well, what about your ooglith masquers?" Jacen asked.

"We lost them," Onimi answered.

"How?" Jacen asked.

"Don't ask," Onimi said. "But the point is, even if Nommy and I did have our masquers, we got no way of disguising you. But that's a moot point either way, because there's no way we'll be welcome at the Jedi Temple anyway, nor should we have any inclination of going even to alleviate boredom!"

Jacen sighed in frustration. "I don't even need to be mind-manipulated by you to figure that you're right in this, Onimi."

"Of course you don't, because you're a reasonable being," Onimi said.

"But still, shouldn't we do something other than all this?" Jacen asked.

Onimi sighed in frustration now. "You don't like hanging out with us, eh?" Onimi asked.

"Well, quite frankly, no, not really," Jacen said. "And as much as I appreciate the weed, I'd like to do more things, you know."

"Well, you don't have to be here with us, you know," Onimi said. "You're perfectly welcome by Nommy and I to leave us and go to the upper levels when Force knows what'll happen to you when the general public mistakes you for the resurrected Darth Caedus."

"Gee, thanks for the vote of confidence," Jacen said before he stood up and decided to wander away.

"Douchebag," Nom Anor commented.

"No kidding," Onimi said. "Well, Nommy, you know what this means?"

"So what do you wanna do, Onimi?" Nom Anor asked.

Onimi dropped his head in defeat.


	2. Chapter 2

The next day, Jacen, having just returned to the nearly-destroyed Vongformed underworld of Coruscant a mere few hours earlier, sullenly sauntered back over to where Onimi and Nom Anor were still sitting as the two of them looked to be having delicious bantha steaks.

"Hey," Onimi said simply to Jacen before taking a bite into his steak.

Jacen's expression turned from sad to curious. "Where'd you get those steaks from?"

"Surface," Onimi answered in between chewing his piece of steak.

"You stole 'em, didn't you?" Jacen inquired with a deadpan tone.

"Yep," Onimi said before swallowing the steak in his mouth. "We decided to treat ourselves to some real food for once."

Jacen sighed. But instead of coming back with a reprimand for the theft that Onimi and Nom Anor committed, he simply asked, "Did you bring any for me?"

"Even though you left us," Onimi said as he took out a full, juicy bantha steak from his left pocket, "I had a feeling you'd come back."

Jacen smiled before he trotted over and sat down next to the deformed Yuuzhan Vong, taking the piece of meat and began chewing into it.

"Thanks, man," Jacen said appreciatively after he swallowed his first bite. "Say, how'd you know I'd come back anyway?"

Onimi shrugged nonchalantly. "I guess the Force told me or something." He bit into his steak again. Then, still chewing, he asked, "So what happened? You didn't get in with the Jedi Order?"

"Obviously not," Jacen replied as he swallowed his piece of bantha steak.

"Is it because you're the alternate reality version of a guy who became a ruthless Sith Lord in this dimension?" Nom Anor asked, having now finished his steak.

"Surprisingly not," Jacen answered. "It's because that I, as an individual, am too 'incorrigibly corrupted' from the other Force ideologies I've been exposed to along with all the drugs I've done."

"In other words, it's because you're too open-minded and won't fall for the dogmatic, narrow views of the Jedi Order," Nom Anor summed up. "They want you to be a sheep, like the rest of them, eh?"

"Well, Grand Master Sebatyne didn't really say so, but basically, yeah, that's what she said," Jacen said.

Onimi chuckled just as he finished his steak. "That's what she said," he echoed.

Jacen nodded with a sarcastic expression that mirrored his minor annoyance of Onimi's immaturity before pouring his attention back into consuming his bantha steak.

"Still, I gotta say that us living like this, it sucks," Jacen said before finishing his steak. He sighed again. "We really need to find something to do with our lives."

"Perhaps I may provide the opportunity," a deep, resounding, male-like voice projected to the downtrodden trio.

Jacen, Onimi, and Nom Anor all looked before them to find a blob-shaped form covered by conical, golden shields appear from a flash of bright gold light.

"Waru!" Jacen exclaimed.

"Hello, Jacen Solo," Waru greeted in an ominous tone. "It is good to see you after so many years; and by years, I am referring to how you perceive time, of course."

"What are you doing anywhere outside your home reality?" Jacen asked. "I thought you had your fill of my galaxy back when I was a kid and you had Hethrir as your dutiful little lackey."

"I did," Waru said. "But now I am in need of you. However, I think we should be civil and allow for introductions to transpire."

"Jacen, what's going on?" Nom Anor asked.

Jacen looked over at his Yuuzhan Vong friends. "Guys, this is Waru. He's an extradimensional being who caused some stuff to happen back when I was a kid. Waru, these are my friends, Onimi and Nom Anor."

"Hello," Nom Anor waved.

"Hi," Onimi greeted without waving.

"I sense, Onimi, that you have great power within you," Waru pointed out. "Power on level with Jacen. You also have great skill. What you lack, however, is the experience to enhance that skill. Let me help you, and I shall make you and Jacen the most powerful warriors in all the multiverse."

Onimi made a face in sticking his bottom lip out while nodding. "Not bad."

"What about me?" Nom Anor asked.

"What about you?" Waru asked back.

"Y-you mean I can't continue living with Jacen and Onimi?"

"Jacen, Onimi," Waru said, apparently forgetting about Nom Anor for the moment, "do you feel that Nom Anor should continue to be in your company."

"Sure," Jacen shrugged.

"Why not?" Onimi asked.

"Very well," Waru responded. "Then it is time..."

And with that, they all disappeared in a flash of bright white light.

When next they all reappeared, they found themselves in a neat, homely living space. After Jacen, Onimi, and Nom Anor regarded their surroundings for a few moments, Jacen looked at Waru and said, "This is a Jedi Master's quarters on Coruscant, isn't it?"

"It is," Waru answered simply.

"Why'd you bring us here?" Nom Anor asked suspiciously.

"Because I need for you to capture Jedi Master Kenth Hamner."

"Hamner?" Jacen asked. "But he's-"

"Not in this reality," Waru interrupted.

A couple seconds of silence followed before Waru's charges collectively nodded. "You transported us into a different reality," Jacen concluded.

"Indeed," Waru stated.

"So... why do you want us to kidnap Kenth Hamner?" Jacen inquired.

"I will explain later," Waru said. ""For now, he is coming, and you don't have long to incapacitate him. And don't worry about the guards stationed outside his door, they will not be able to sense his distress through the Force nor will they hear of any scuffle that should occur."

"Because of you, eh?" Onimi asked.

"Yes," Waru confirmed.

"Well, you better have a good reason for making us do this, Waru," Jacen said.

"Oh, I believe you'll agree with my views," Waru said.


End file.
